Stress

It's still week 3. I should be enjoying my precious time before hell weeks come. But, I'm very stressed lately. One of my housemates suddenly went back to his country and I have to look for another tenant to take his room. But, we have to pay the rental in 5 days and my other housemate is traveling. And, I don't have money to pay for these two people now. I really hate when trust is being abused! 

Maybe I have to blame myself for being so Japanese in some aspect. I wasn't strict in asking them to pay the rental on time considering they might have problems sometimes though I was the poorest among them. It's really difficult to be considerate to others when they are not to you. 

Talking about being considerate and not showing one's own emotions, I've learnt recently that not all Japanese fall into this stereotypes though all my friends in Tokyo are like this. But, Japanese students this term are rather open. Some are really inconsiderate or rather childish. Some are very westernized. Last week, my friend asked me for dinner and I wanted to decline the invitation. Being used to not saying "No" openly to Japanese, I told her indirectly that I'd not be coming. But, maybe she thought in non-Japanese way or was so considerate to me that she thought I replied her in non-Japanese way. In the end, she thought I was coming but I thought she knew I was not going. Haha... this is second time already. Perhaps, they forget how people refuse positively. 

I think among my Japanese friends, Koh-chan is the most Japanese in terms of manners (though I always told him that he doesn't look like Japanese at all). Another one is Te-chan. They always think for the other person's emotions. For example, when I ask them whether they want to try something or go somewhere, they hardly say 'no' cos they think I want to do that. So, when I had to suggest something to them, sometimes I had to make them clear first that I don't want to do this but if they want to do, I don't mind. Only then did they give their real answer. Sometimes I was a bit pissed off with their answer "up to you". But, I love such manners by Japanese cos it shows they care about the other party while suppressing their desire. 

But, most Japanese this term say "I want to do this", "No, I don't like that!" There's nothing wrong with it but I'm not used to it haha.... especially from Japanese. Sometimes, I'm not open to non-Japanese as well. So, be careful when I agree with you or say "Yes" to you. Look at my expression. I might mean totally the other way round cos sometimes I'm the King of sarcasm.